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干货满满丨美顶级名校成功范文The Hotchkiss、Milton Academy申请文书解析!

点击题目下方去美国读高中,关注中国顶尖留学教育机构,时代焦点伴你一路直达大洋彼岸,圆梦美国!

许轶

时代焦点教育创始人兼CEO

斯坦福大学MBA、芝加哥大学硕士

出版《去美国读高中》《去美国读本科》《斯坦福日记》等留学畅销书籍!

时代焦点教育每年辅导大量学生进入Phillips Academy Andover、Horace Mann School、Choate Rosemary Hall、Milton Academy、The Lawrenceville School等美国顶级私立高中!

文/许轶老师

众所周知,申请美国高中越来越难,时代焦点每年都帮助很多优秀和平凡的学生成功进入美国顶级寄宿和走读高中,从时代焦点创立到现在,时代焦点辅导了两名学员成功进入福布斯排名数一数二的顶级私立高中Horace Mann School,霍瑞斯曼高中是纽约的一所顶级走读学校,其中一名来自北京的国际学校,另一名来自北京海淀一所公立中学!

时代焦点教育每年辅导大量学生进入Phillips Academy Andover、Horace Mann School、Choate Rosemary Hall、Milton Academy、The Lawrenceville School等美国顶级私立高中!

霍瑞斯曼高中 Horace Mann School录取Offer

菲利普斯安多佛Phillips Academy Andover

米尔顿学院Milton Academy

劳伦斯威尔高中The Lawrenceville School

。。。。。。

“我们觉得现在的很多留学机构,会走入很多误区,这些误区破坏了美高留学的初心,我对下面的两种留学情况深恶痛绝。

第一是流水线的作业,导致成功申请率并不高,另外一种就是反反复复和招生官照相合影,这并不能证明自身真正的申请实力,美高申请面试和文书都是非常重要,也有很多共通之处!”

时代焦点美高文书案例解析

今天时代焦点许轶老师为大家分享成功录取The Lawrenceville School,Milton Academy,The Hotchkiss School的学生文书,给大家做一个点评:

Shot answer 1

How has your family or community influenced the way you see the world? (2000 characters max.)

My parent, especially my father, has taught me to embrace diversity and to see the world through the lenses of different people. Since I was little, I had always thought that there was only one correct way of doing anything, one correct answer to any problem, and one correct perspective for anything I see, but my father had unveiled the truth behind my misconception for me: there are diverse ways of seeing and doing things and usually there is no fixed “correct” way. 

Recently a really big issue that has been affecting every person in Europe is the Syrian Refugee Crisis. Thousands of Syrian refugees have been swarming into Western Europe looking for better lives and escaping from the constant wars in Syria. Since my family and I have been living in Vienna, the capital of Austria, the Syrian Refugee Crisis has been literally right outside our front door. So we have always paid close attention to it. One day, my father discussed a newspaper article with me about two very different attitudes that the people of Western Europe had, as more and more refugees moved into their cities and neighborhoods. Some people welcomed the refugees and wanted more to come, while others did not welcome them at all and wanted them to go elsewhere. I was infuriated when I knew about the second attitude. How could someone just turn away from people who need your help to survive? In response to my anger, my father asked me, “Have you ever considered how some of the Western Europeans felt when they lost their jobs because the refugees were willing to work for a lower wage?” I admitted that I did not and was confused, “No, but you should help the people in need, shouldn’t you?” “Usually yes, but it depends more on the situation. You see, there is no “correct” attitude toward most things. Different people have different feelings about the same thing just like the people with the two opposite attitudes described in the newspaper and it is natural. People with different interests, backgrounds, and cultures see the same thing differently, so if you want to know the truth, you have to see from all the different perspectives and form your own opinion from what you have discovered.”

After I learned to see problems through the lenses of people with different interests who are from different cultures and backgrounds, I became much more open-minded and considerate.

 

Short answer 2

Create your own holiday. What would you celebrate and why? (2000 characters max.)


I would create an international smartphone day on November 23rd, celebrating the birthday of the world’s first smartphone, the IBM Simon, which was on November 23rd, 1992. 

The purpose of the smartphone day is to praise the benefits of smart phones and to remind people to always be aware of the negative effects of unhealthy smart phone use.

In the 23 years of smartphone development, smartphones have grown to play such an important role in our lives nowadays that they are almost irreplaceable. According to collected data, approximately every one person in five people own a smartphone right now and those who have smartphones use them for at least one hour every day to do various things.

Smartphones have made huge impacts on the way people work, socialise, consume entertainment, solve problems, etc.  We can use our smart phones to socialise with people online, watch videos or movies, search for information, listen to music, manage our emails, shop online, and the list goes on. In addition, since smartphones provide access to services offered and managed by governments and businesses, the development of smartphones also influence greatly how governments operate and how businesses run.

Meanwhile, people are gradually recognising the negative impacts brought by smartphones. While capable of connecting people to the whole world through email, social media, and many other digital platforms, smart phones can also disconnect people from those around you. Also, people could be living a less-fulfilling life if they let smartphone dominate their free time.

On smart phone day, we should celebrate the benefits smart phones bring to our life and the society as a whole while also switching off our smartphones for one hour and dedicate the time to focus on the actual world and people around us. By doing so, we can allow ourselves to reflect on how to use smart phones effectively and how to minimise the negative effects of unhealthy smart phone use.


Essay Question

2. Create an essay question for next year’s application and answer your own question. (6500 characters max.)


My essay question for next year’s application would be:

The greatest works of art and literature allows viewers/listeners/readers to reflect upon and discover themselves. Which piece of art or literature have you found yourself the most in?

I have discovered myself the most in the book Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success, where the author Carol S. Dweck explains her new theory – that people either have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. People with a fixed mindset believe that intelligence, personality, and creativity are fixed traits; people with a growth mindset believe that everyone can change and grow through method and effort. 

This book made me realize that I had gone through a change in mindset as I interacted with people from all over the world. I used to have a fixed mindset when I lived in Beijing for the first seven years of my life, but as I ventured to Rockville, Maryland for three years and then to Vienna, Austria for two years, I began to notice that this fixed mindset was preventing me from tapping my full potential. So I looked for ways to learn and grow faster. Slowly, the strategies I came up with pieced together to form a progressive and powerful mindset: the growth mindset, as Dr. Dweck calls it. In retrospect, I’ve become fascinated by my revolution in mindset, which I carried to fruition years before reading Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success. This fascination led me to scour my memory for clues; in time, I found a series of events that had transformed my mindset from fixed to growth. Two experiences in particular stood out.

(因篇幅有限只放部分原文,欲想阅读全文请在文章尾部给小编留言!)

往期精彩内容回顾:

学姐访谈丨美顶级高中Cate School学姐专访,规律作息,爱网球,爱生活!

学长访谈第②期丨美Top30名校Brooks生活指南,有梦想不负好时光!

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